Tell us a bit about yourself
I’m from Tyrone and I left home when I was 19 and went to Uni in Liverpool. I wasn’t out when I was there though, I came to London to come out three years ago. Now I’m working here and loving it. It’s my life.
It took coming to London to do that. It is the best place to be gay or queer.
Why did being in London make such a difference?
There was security from living in a city, I’m sure it’s quite similar in Dublin. But coming from a rural community, and this is probably the same in England, not many people know LGBT people and it creates an image of them, a negative image, because they don’t see LGBT people living normal lives. Because most people are not out in rural communities, at least that’s my perception.
Do you see being Irish as being important part of your identity?
I do see it as important, I was brought up to be proud of my nationality, and that never leaves you. I do mix with other Irish people, I’ve got childhood and Uni friends here. But my most active friendship group is my LGBT friends.
I’m part of a lot of groups, I do dance, I’m part of GMDC, the Gay Men’s Dance Company— though it’s open to everybody. There’s a lot of Irish guys in that and we have had some similar experiences about feeling that being in the city was a more secure place to live a life.
Was dance always been something you wanted to do?
When I was growing up in Tyrone there wasn’t the opportunity, my school didn’t even have a drama department. So it didn’t even seem a realistic dream, or even a hobby. I always wanted to perform, when I came to London and came out I thought I may as well do everything I want.
Do you go back to Ireland much, how much do you think things have changed?
Things are definitely changing, seeing the like of the Taoiseach and the referendum. Obviously, that’s not the part of Ireland I’m from, but my family are Irish Catholics and they would always identify as being Irish and I think that helped change their perceptions. I only go back about twice a year, I feel like the sense of community I have got from London is profound, and that was something I never had.
In way is sad, but my life just fits in better here.
Do you ever talk to older LGBT people about their experiences in the past?
I am part of a Theatre company in the Arcola in Dalston, I have been cast this year in a show called They, Them, We, Us. It’s About 50 years since the Stonewall riots and how life has gone for LGBT people in the last 50 years. We have guest talkers in who were actually part of the Gay Liberation Movement in the 1970s. So to listen to them you get the sense of how difficult things were, even 20 years ago.
For me, I ran away to come out but coming here felt very comfortable, very normal. I didn’t struggle whatsoever and then that gave me the strength to mention back home that I was gay. And I live my life on social media so people at home see what’s going on and how my life has changed.
I was 23 when I made the decision to come out and I think it’s a lot easier now. I think Ireland has become really accepting.
Why do think has helped make that change to being more accepting?
I really think it’s familiarity. So for myself growing up the whole reason it did take me 23 years, even to admit it to myself, was because I had a negative connotation of what it’s like to be LGBT. It was seen it as lonely or a really wild life style choice that everyone was going to judge you for and no one was going to want to talk to you anymore.
Many people growing up especially in rural parts don’t get to see LGBT people living normal or exciting lives, just being normal people with a different sexuality preference.
What do think about LGBT history month, is it important to mark?
It’s brilliant to raise awareness, to show how far we have come, but also to show far we still have to go around the globe. It’s still horrendous to be LGBT in certain parts of the world.
It’s really good we are having these conversations and publicising them as well.
What’s your Irish in Britain story? Drop a line to comms@irishinbritain.org